I've been thinking a lot about LUCK - It being St. Patrick's day season 'n alI. And I’ve touched down somewhere knowing that I no longer believe in luck. I don’t know if I ever did. I certainly don't believe in destiny or fate. Good fortune, on the other hand, I like the sound of. To my ear, it stresses the arbitrariness of happenstance of delight. Good fortune; when chocolate meets peanut butter. Happy accidents; when the paint spills in just the right spot. The meet-cute; when at the department store, he, looking for just pajama bottoms, bumps into her, looking to purchase just a pajama top. Serendipity is thrilling but it is just that, a fluke, likely undeserved, unearned and because this is so, all the sweeter. Then there's the kind of fortune that comes from walking the talk, from full on integrity and service to self and others, and that is a manifestation of the most unmagical kind. It's intentional and it's powerful and sweeter still than a scratch ticket or someone paying it forward and buying your coffee anonymously in the morning.
We can not truly help anyone until we help ourselves. This is not a "look out for numero uno" sort of statement, it is a statement of fact. This is a message being broadcast to all the suffering martyrs out there who are killing themselves with their spotlight philanthropy and people pleasing and who are subsequently walking around with huge resentments because they are not able to pay their bills or land a job or drop that extra 10 lbs or find someone to fuck. We are never going to get what we want or need unless we learn how to put ourselves first in a healthy and whole-hearted and wholesome way.
Picture a lifeboat and yourself floundering in the waves beside it. Others are floundering near you and you offer to help boost them into the safety of the boat. How are you going to do that? HOW? YOU HAVE NO LEVERAGE. If someone tries to boost themselves up by pushing on you, you will sink under the surface of the water and it is doubtful that they will be helped much at all and you both will suffer even more. I suggest that you get in the lifeboat yourself first and only then, from this place, you can pull people into safety along with you and they, in turn, will pull other people in (and so on and so forth). Honestly, I’m suspect of people who offer me help who haven’t helped themselves yet. It’s a currency with no value. Makes me wonder what kind of con they are running.
We have all heard analogies about filling up our cups first then we can serve others from the overflow, from the abundance that spills out into the saucer. I love that perspective. We all want to operate with generosity and dignity as we maneuver through life. Is it possible think of our well-being in the same way we are taught to operate in an airplane emergency; put the oxygen mask on ourselves first then affix one to our child's head. It’s only responsible, and smart and lucky for everyone around us.